Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
