"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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