need another drink. this is the easiest way
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
