his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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