in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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