Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
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she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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