just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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