Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.

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(408): View more from California

Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(469): View more from Texas

Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

FUCK YOU MAN

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(618): View more from Illinois

A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.

(1-785): View more from Kansas

I'll be glad to.

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