Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
