i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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