U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
