All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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