I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
