Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
