If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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