He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
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his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
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My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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