She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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