So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Randomize
