There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
