Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
