my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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