You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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