Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
