she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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