well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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