There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
