Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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