Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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