why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
