your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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