Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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