the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Randomize
