he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize