just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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