Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
