Your face is a jimmy john
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
