I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize