i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
