I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
