In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
