he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
