Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
