My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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