Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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