I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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