Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
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Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
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My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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