Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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