it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Terrible idea I love it
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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