i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
3 2 1 whiskey
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