Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
