Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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