Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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