OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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