Even the bartender felt bad for me
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
