Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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