two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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