When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
