just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Dicks are not precious.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
