Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
