hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
