so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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