I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
