So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
