Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My vagina is very pro this idea
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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