I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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