and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
