I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just high enough for therapy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize