i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
