Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
