mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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