Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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