I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
