he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
