By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
