I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
