You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
