How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just want nice things and good sex
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
